Those wedgies just wont go away!
foxes are the most important animals on earth
im going to keep reblogging this until it isn’t cute anymore
this guy is listening to loud ass gospel music in the library and one of the workers asked him to turn it down and he said “YOU CANT TURN DOWN JESUS”
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
And now, the weather.
I was going through this new book of short stories I bought and reached this one
I wondered what it could possibly be about
I DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO BE LITERAL
He was also reasonable, he didn’t fuck married mothers
TDS/TCR 2013-11-14 — Make that your last sentence of your entire career in public service, because that is what we call in my business a closer.
"Is it Valentine’s Day already?" I DIED
‘The Power of Hobutt’ | GOV ‘Breaking chopsticks with the butt’ game!!
IDK how many of you are into kpop, but here’s a guy breaking chopsticks with his ass.
i am confused and scared
The last gif is the face of a man who knows exactly how powerful he’s become